


The Itch

by bcbdrums



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Gen, Other, Pon Farr, Surprise Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bcbdrums/pseuds/bcbdrums
Summary: “Do you know what day it is?” McCoy asked.“I’m assuming you’re not asking about the stardate,” Kirk said.“Let me give you some context,” the doctor said, stepping closer.  “What happened on this day exactly seven years ago?”





	The Itch

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Note the 'mature' rating, younger readers, and proceed with caution. My advice to people under the age of 18 is always to turn back.  
> This is a little one-shot I thought up while trying to work out all the sub-plots in my current big fic.

 

 

A chime at the door announced a visitor’s entrance.  

Kirk cinched his belt and straightened his uniform.  He thought he might send a message to Starfleet’s quartermaster’s office and tell them that the change in uniform style was not an improvement.

When the door slid open, a frowning McCoy entered.  

“A bit early for you, isn’t it?” Kirk said.

McCoy glanced at Kirk and then began stroking his chin with one hand and his elbow with the other.

_Uh-oh._

“What’s on your mind?” Kirk asked.  He’d learned in the past few years it was best to come straight to the point with his friends.

McCoy put his hands behind his back and looked up at Kirk hesitantly.

“Do you know what day it is?”

Kirk looked at him.  “I’m assuming you’re not asking about the stardate.”

“No,” McCoy shook his head.  “I’m asking if you know the significance of today.  Relative to the past.”

Kirk thought about the day.  It was stardate 7549.8…69, he confirmed, glancing at his chronometer.  A Friday on Earth, in the middle of July.  

It wasn’t anyone’s birthday that he could think of, but McCoy wouldn’t look so worried if it were something pleasant.

“I give up, Bones.  What am I supposed to be remembering?”

“Let me give you some context,” McCoy said, stepping closer.  “What happened on this day exactly seven years ago?”

Kirk’s jaw dropped.  He didn’t need to think.  McCoy had given him the key.

_Seven years..._

The memory of Vulcan’s heat and his first officer’s blind fury were not something he thought of often, but took no effort to recall.

When Spock had entered _pon farr_  during the _Enterprise_ ’s first five-year mission, it had been a horrible scandal and an even harder experience for him and his two friends.  Spock had lost his wife to another man, and Kirk himself nearly lost his life.

Worse, Kirk remembered, Spock’s dignity had suffered.  It didn’t matter that he and McCoy assured him that the crew thought too highly of him as an officer and as an individual to count any of his erratic behavior during the blood fever against him.  But it didn’t matter.

 _“I am Vulcan,”_  Spock had said, as if that explained everything.

“It was…seven years ago today?” Kirk asked, looking at McCoy in shock.

“Yep.  I’ve been keeping track, so we’d be ready the next time.”

“Has…Spock been to see you?” Kirk asked, now concerned.  He had only just recently gotten his friends back, after over two years of boredom working at Starfleet Headquarters.  He selfishly didn’t want to lose one again.

“No, he hasn’t.  So I’m going to confront him.  And I thought…well, I thought it’d be best if you were there when I do.”

Kirk thought of his very private friend, who had come back to Starfleet even more reserved than when they first served together.

“I’m not sure that’s best.”

“Look, Jim.  I’m not sure if this Vulcan mating cycle is exactly seven years, or what.  But even if I have to hog-tie him and beat it out of him I’m going to find out how vulcans deal with this when they’re not married.  Unless of course, he secretly did just that in these last couple years.  Wouldn’t surprise me…”

Kirk swallowed uneasily.  He did not like the idea of invading Spock’s privacy.  But he liked the idea of Spock dying even less.

“All right,” he agreed.

Together they walked the short distance to Spock’s quarters—at least little had changed on the refit _Enterprise_  as far as the location of officer’s quarters were concerned—and buzzed.

“Come,” the soft voice called, and they went inside.

Spock was seated at his desk working on his computer, just as had been his practice before his shift during their first mission together.

 _Old habits…_  thought Kirk.

“Captain.  Doctor,” Spock said, glancing at them briefly before turning back to the screen.  “What can I do for you?”

Kirk felt his mouth begin to go dry.  He turned to find McCoy already looking at him.

“Well, Doctor?” Kirk said.

McCoy bounced once on his toes and then bit his lip, looking down.

Kirk sighed and rolled his eyes.

There was no cultural protocol or social norm for asking a vulcan about their sex life.

Spock stood and stepped around the desk, and both Kirk and McCoy straightened immediately.

“Gentleman.  Is your presence on this specific day to inquire if I have entered _pon farr?_ ”

Kirk saw McCoy blush slightly out of the corner of his eye.  He cleared his throat.

“Er…a few minutes ago Doctor McCoy reminded me of the date, and he is…concerned for your health.”

“I can assure you both, that I am well.  Being able to anticipate the onset of the chemical imbalance allowed me to prepare and respond as was necessary.”

Kirk’s brow rose and McCoy narrowed his eyes.

“So it…already happened?” the doctor asked.

“Correct.  The cycle is not precisely seven years, and in fact decreases in length over time.  Should I live a full lifespan I can expect it to be six years during my old age.”

“Oh,” McCoy said.

Kirk turned to the doctor, and found his brow furrowed.  The captain cleared his throat again.

“Well, Spock, since your health is not in jeopardy we’ll apologize for the intrusion and leave.  Bones?” he said as he turned.  But McCoy stayed rooted to the carpet.

“So…what did you do?” McCoy asked.

Kirk’s brow rose in time with Spock’s.

“Bones,” Kirk said reprimandingly.

“No, Jim, it matters.”  McCoy looked at Spock in earnest.  “We have other vulcans on this ship, younger than you.  I haven’t checked their personnel records to see if they’re married, but…what if we’re on the other side of the quadrant and can’t get back to Vulcan and it happens to one of them?  How exactly _do_  your people handle this in…your situation?”

Kirk swallowed anxiously and looked between the two men.

Spock’s expression was utterly unreadable.  Kirk noted that his ability to mask all emotion had grown in their years apart.

Finally, the vulcan lifted a single eyebrow and turned away from them to face the wall where his _ka’athyra_  was mounted.

“Vulcans who are unable to reach their spouse attempt meditation.  It is not considered a viable option.  A married vulcan who is unable to achieve resolution through meditation will choose death over infidelity, and that is often the result.”

“Honorable,” Kirk said.  Spock still did not look at them.

“But you’re not dead, Spock,” McCoy pointed out.  “Is the meditation easier for unmarried vulcans?”

“It is,” Spock acknowledged.

Something in his tone alerted Kirk that he wasn’t telling them something.  McCoy must have sensed it too, for he kept on.

“Is that what you did?  Meditate?”

Kirk watched the barely perceptible tensing of Spock’s shoulders.

“No.”

“So then…what else does an unmarried vulcan do?”

Spock sighed softly through his nose and turned very slightly to make eye contact.

“There are women on my planet who, if not bonded as children or who lose their mate…volunteer to marry the un-bonded men when their time comes.”

“So they just…marry anyone, so that the men won’t die?”

“A very high dowry is paid to their families as compensation, since the match was not chosen by their parents.  But essentially, yes.”

McCoy seemed to relax with that answer.  Kirk was relieved.  He thought that later he would apologize again, since Spock had been even more private since his return from self-enforced exile.  He was glad that the borderline inappropriate line of questioning was over.

“So you went back and bought a wife,” McCoy said.

Kirk watched as Spock instantly stiffened again.  McCoy’s face slowly fell into confusion.

“Bones,” Kirk said, stepping between the doctor and his first officer.  “You know what to do now if any of our other vulcan crew members need...medical assistance in...this area.  Why don’t we leave Spock alone?”

“Captain,” Spock said, and Kirk turned in surprise to find the vulcan facing them.  “I am not offended.  In fact, I appreciate your concern.”

Kirk was still unsure and looked at Spock in question.  

“I do not wish to marry if only to leave a wife alone on Vulcan, as it would have been seven years ago.  Perhaps the example of my parents and my mixed heritage has had a negative influence, but I would find doing so a cruelty and illogical.”

Kirk and McCoy exchanged looks, now completely confused.

“So,” McCoy said, “just what did you do?”

Spock stepped past them and paused at the door, folding his hands behind his back.

“When I realized the time had come, and knowing I did not want to marry and that meditation was not worth the risk, I asked myself:  ‘What does Jim do when he gets “the itch”?’”

Both Kirk’s and McCoy’s jaws fell open.

“You will recall I took shore leave three weeks ago.  Had you checked the records, you would have found that I spent my time on Risa.”

Spock opened the door.

“I shall see you on the bridge,” he said, and exited the room.

Red-faced, Kirk and McCoy stared at the closed door by which their logical, emotionless friend had just left.  After several seconds they glanced at each other, not believing what they had just heard.

Kirk finally blew out the breath he had been holding.

“Damn.”

A few more seconds passed, and then McCoy started chuckling.

“What?” Kirk asked, still in shock.  He turned to find McCoy grinning.

“I can’t decide if you’ve been a good influence on him or a bad one.”

Kirk narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. 

"How do you suppose that went anyway?  Do you think he just...walked into a bar and asked where he could—"

"Bones!" Kirk's face turned even redder.

McCoy laughed.

 

 


End file.
